Since Mother’s Day has just passed, I was inspired to write a short piece on the truth of motherhood. Now, when I say “truth”, this is obviously from my perspective only and is opinion, but I think many other Moms out there will agree with me in the end.
My journey into motherhood started nearly 5 years ago after trying to conceive with my husband for years. I have PCOS (a whole other blog post and rant for later), so our trying to conceive journey was long and emotional. But, the good news is that we had a very happy ending to our story when we found out I was pregnant with our son. That son is now going on 5 years old (where did that time go?) and we are considering starting the journey all over again, if the universe, and my difficult body will allow it.
There are so many things that I couldn’t have known or planned for when I was thinking of becoming a Mom. I mean there are no handbooks or youtube videos that can tell you EXACTLY how to be the best parent right? We are all just sort of winging it (which reminds me of another blog post idea…..jots down idea…and I’m back.). Anyway, let’s be honest, do any of us have a clue how to be the best parent we can be? I think a lot of people do everything they can to learn, analyze and develop parenting skills. Some people think they have it all together when in reality they are horrible parents. Nonetheless, I find myself striving to be the best Mom that I can be for my son and all I can do is keep my fingers crossed that something I am doing is right.
I was talking with a co-worker recently who is also a Mom to a boy about a year younger than my son, and we were swapping stories that sounded eerily similar. We both work full-time, we’re both in our mid-thirties (we got started late on making babies), we are both married to guys we think are our soulmates, and we both feel like huge failures sometimes. By the end of the conversation we were laughing about how chaotic life is when you are trying to balance all of those things. When you are raising a child your priority is your child (well, it should be). Personally, I want to give my son opportunities, guidance, happy memories, love and lots of kisses, which will hopefully give him a solid foundation for life. The problem arises when you start to notice other parts of your life slipping.
It’s hard to juggle work, marriage, family, friends and me time with raising a kid. There are days that I probably look like I was up drinking all night long, when in reality I just couldn’t sleep because my son was sick or I was busy thinking about the nine million tasks I had to complete that week. I don’t always look my best; I don’t always feel my best; but, I constantly am trying my best and at the end of the day I think that is the most important thing. I know that one day this will all be a distant memory. My husband and I will have more time to talk and experience life together. I’ll have more time for pampering myself and doing activities that I love. I think that’s what keeps me going… this is temporary. This feeling of no control and mindlessly jumping from one task to the next will subside at some point and I will be looking for things to fill my time.
So, until then I am enjoying every moment. My house is not spotless, I forget to do things even if I’ve written them down, I struggle to keep up with the bills, and I could stand to lose some weight. But, guess what? I’m a Mom… and I can’t think of anything more rewarding to be in this world. 🙂